I Woke Up at 3AM With a Knot in My Stomach...
Mar 30, 2026Hello, Dihessa here, and do I have a story to tell you.
In this voice note, I’m sharing what has gotten me spiraling out of control in my business in the past few weeks. I’m also sharing with you what was going on with me spiritually… and why this actually became a seed for my next level of growth—and why I’m celebrating so hard this morning.
A Few Months Ago, This Started
This started a few months ago.
And if I’m honest, I made conscious decisions to ignore it.
Up until now, I have been doing my thing. Implementing my own strategies. Using my energy for growth in my business.
And the past few months have been incredible.
I have been steadily increasing my income while also staying at consistent multi five-figure cash months in my business—literally for the past 12 months.
So nothing was broken.
And yet…
The Nudge Wouldn’t Go Away
For the past few months, I have been feeling this nudge.
Not about making more money.
About going to another level.
Leveling up the way I show up.
Leveling up my content.
Leveling up how I run my challenges.
Taking everything to a new standard.
And here’s what’s interesting…
I wanted it.
And at the same time, a part of me didn’t.
Because it felt like I was about to break everything that was already working.
For Months, I Stayed Where I Was
So I kept doing what I knew to do.
And it worked.
My income kept increasing.
But in the back of my mind, there was something that wouldn’t leave me alone:
I want a new standard.
And as that desire grew…
The fear grew with it.
The Conversation That Changed Everything
Recently, I was talking to my mentor.
And she said something that stopped me.
“There is a fear within you. I don’t even know what it is, but it’s growing bigger and bigger every day.”
And I asked her why she would say that.
And she said:
“Your energy is becoming smaller and smaller every day.”
That hit me.
Because if there’s anything I speak, it is energy.
It actually reminded me of that moment in Sex and the City where Carrie says,
“I may not know anything about men… but shoes—I know.”
And in that moment, I realized:
I may not know what the fear is.
I may not know anything about anything.
But what I do know is energy.
I know how to increase my energy.
I Made a Decision
From that conversation, everything became clear.
I didn’t need to understand the fear.
Because fear is not the problem.
The problem is when the energy of fear takes over everything else.
And what I know how to do so well… is cultivate an energy that overrides the energy of fear.
So that became my focus.
What Was Actually Happening
When my energy was low, I could see it in my actions.
I was getting on calls I didn’t need to be on.
I was doing things I had no business doing.
Looking back, I was being reckless.
It almost felt like I was trying to destroy everything I had built.
And at the same time…
Something else was happening.
At the Same Time, Spiritually…
At the same time, I have been stepping into a new level of non-attachment.
Non-attachment to my business.
Non-attachment to people.
Non-attachment to outcomes.
I was even testing my relationships in my life—just to see if I could let go.
And it felt scary.
It felt like I cared about nothing.
But when I look at it now…
It was freedom.
The problem was not the shift.
The problem was that I didn’t have enough energy to hold that level of growth.
So it felt like everything was being pulled from under me.
And I was spiraling out of control.
That Entire Week, I Focused on One Thing
And yet, I knew something:
Only I could resolve this.
And for me, that always comes back to energy.
So that entire week, I became very diligent.
I focused on recovering my energy through my energetic system.
Not analyzing the fear.
Not trying to figure everything out.
Just restoring my energy.
And as I did that…
Everything became crystal clear.
I Chose a New Standard
I realized something:
I didn’t want to be compensated at the old standard anymore.
If I was going to be compensated, it had to match the new level I was stepping into.
So I went into execution mode.
Fully.
It Took Me the Whole Week
In my mind, I thought this would take a couple of days.
It didn’t.
It took me the entire week.
To change things.
To refine things.
To implement everything at this new level.
There were so many moving pieces.
And I was using my mind a lot—strategizing, building, refining.
A Couple of Nights Ago, I Woke Up at 3AM
A couple of nights ago, I pulled the trigger.
Everything went out into the world.
New ads. New direction. New standard.
That night, I went to bed.
And then I woke up.
At 3AM.
With a knot in my stomach.
My body was tense.
My shoulders were tight.
And that’s when I felt the real fear.
“What if I just broke everything that was already working?”
The Truth About That Moment
And in that moment, I understood something.
The fear made sense.
I had just changed everything.
Of course there was fear.
But I didn’t need to fix it.
I didn’t need to make it go away.
Because fear is not the problem.
Fear is there because you care.
Because it matters.
Growth Comes With Tension
Sometimes I hear people say:
“This isn’t safe for my nervous system.”
And I’m like… no.
That’s not always true.
Sometimes tension is exactly where growth happens.
Not all tension is bad.
Sometimes tension is expansion.
This Morning, I Woke Up Celebrating
And this morning, I woke up celebrating.
Because I can already see it working.
Even just looking at my email…
Everything I implemented is already paying off.
But I had to take the chance.
I had to follow what I knew.
I’ve Been Here Before
And I also know this:
The level of fear you feel often matches the level of growth you’re stepping into.
How do I know?
Because I’ve been here before.
Final Truth
Growth comes with tension.
And what I’ve become really good at is this:
Being okay with fear… and still moving forward.
Still choosing.
Still acting.
Still deciding.
Invitation
The newly revamped Golden Aura 5-day challenge is coming up very soon.
Come experience leveraging your energetic system to create the kind of energy that leads to focused action—and clients naturally coming into your space.
Join Golden Aura5 Day Challenge: https://www.dihessa.com/goldenaura
Thank you so much for reading, and I’ll talk to you soon.
Hi, I'm Dihessa Bodjona
